We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
