hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize