I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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