So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
