are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You can't special order awesome
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
