after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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