Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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