TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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