The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize