omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
