I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
