I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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