We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
