Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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