I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
