I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
