She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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