oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
