Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
