So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
