We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
