apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
