Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
