The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
