and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize