So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
