I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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