Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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