whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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