brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
