youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found puke in my bra..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
