Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
