is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
