What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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