i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
