Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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