For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
