2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
