My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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