I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
