Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
