I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is my gift to your gina
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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