but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
