The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
