I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I want to be your penis for a week.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
