I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
