never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
