and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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