when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
