Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
