the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
