seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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