You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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