My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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