Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
