My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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