I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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