He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
