Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
