Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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