I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
