After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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