I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
