im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
